happy new year to nearest, dearest and of course, the not so dear.

While many people have gone and posted their resolution lists on their blogs bearing over like 50 new year resolutions, im going to be human and have only 5 on mine. Like hello? seriously? 50? u must be outta your mind.

so what're my new year resolutions? here you go.

1. Shut my big fat mouth when im told to do so in future.

2. De-stress myself. Im currently at the brink of my sanity.

3. Learn to laugh at myself.

4. appreciate the things i have been blessed with. I often take them for granted.

5. Learn to let go. Its not that hard, i heard, issit?

well then there you go. Now that was short and sweet aint it? lol. no offense people but to those of you with like 100 resolutions on your list, add just one more that reads this:

BE SHORT AND SWEET WITH MY RESOLUTIONS NEXT YEAR AROUND!

lol.

queer-eyed moments

first of all, a loud birthday shoutout to my girl, rachel chang.

this girl here, has stuck with me as far back as i can remember. LOVE her to bits, if you're reading this, have a BLAST dearie =D

anyway, ignore the weird heading. dont ask why. just do as i tell you.

im talking to my foster mom as we speak. on msn. how cool is that? pretty neat i must say. Im really looking forward to my stay in the US. I just know im sure as hell gonna miss my fam back here. i teared, literally teared thinking about it yesterday. Oh yes i did.

BUT hey, im off to where there's SNOW! and utter brilliance besides natural wonders of a place halfway around the world!

u know, amidst all this excitement, something else is bugging me. Something stupid yet completely relevant.

And u know what? i have to go now because the ARSE of a brother of mine is bugging me to get off the comp.

TO hell with sibling rivalry, sometimes its less stressful to GIVE UP.

tormenting.

EXCITING.

hee.

out yo.

>crank that<

lol. couldnt think of anything to put up there really since today's post is going to b a delightful combination of crappy and well...heheh, not so crappy....yeah..i just looove that song....lol, the travis barker remix especially...just brilliant...

-why is it that however much u try to convince yourself that u can and will somehow push through, despite all the pain u've been through,u find yourself sinking even deeper??

-why is it that when sometimes things are going great for you, you still punch the wall every morning, screaming in frustration because you suddenly become aware that your blessed present was brought upon by your painful, shameless past??


-why is it that you find yourself being so cruel to yourself and the people around you consciously but not deliberately??

-why is it that when you look for silver key, you find a gold one instead, and you're still not happy??

- why is it that sometimes we feel that the WHOLE WORLD HAS BECOME A BITCH and we appear to be the only compassionate and sane beings left on earth when in reality, it is the other way around??

WHY???

you know what, if you're going to keep asking yourself these questions every single day knowing that the answers aint just gonna jump out from behind the door and announce that they've arrived, u are gonna someday end up one miserable and lonesome sucker.

seriously.

i just realised that today as i was talking to sashvin. I am going through some personal issues at the moment and i poured it all out to him. He's a great person i must say. He was able to make me wake up and face reality just like that. And the answer he gave me was able to answer all the questions above. He's right, people become miserable because they take things for granted.

yeah yeah i know what you're thinking. Ive heard that one before. But seriously, think about it. A person who sees the world as it is and dosent stop to contemplate the what ifs of life would..

-be happy that god has given him the strengh to at least push through and move on with their lives.

-be thankful that her present is indeed blessed and not care two hoots about her past as its godamn over anyway.

-take the time to apologise and caution himself not to make the same mistake by hurting anyone else in future instead of merely beating himself up for words and actions that cannot be taken back.

-yell with joy even if she found a bronze key because after all, all keys perform the same function at the end of the day.

-feel comforted that whoever the bitch is in reality, there still are people out there who care and look out for one another, regardless of the circumstances.

you know, its easy to say one thing, and even easier to promise yourself that you will do it or it will happen.

but seriously, its horribly difficult to stay happy while you're doing it. Thats the hard part about life.

Maybe we should all take sashvin's simple answer seriously. Maybe then we'll all be happier.

you know, i think im beginning to feel just that.




I beg to differ. Why? Because pictures are too abstract for a person like me to decipher detailed emotions and the depth of a person's thoughts. Its always writing that gives me that. Nevertheless, here's some random pics for u peops who are just toooooo lazy to read anything i have to blog =D

Dosent mean i love u any less, enjoy :)

yeah, thats me before prom :)

heheh. Sha and me in the fitting room =D we were in pyramid that day.



Another random one with chuen. Missing you guys loadsss

Ahh yes. the antics of jd and sha. How very us =D



like i said, how very us na?

This is one of my favourites. My sisters for life :D

This one is VERY old. Took it at jubli last year. Thats eli and gee on the right btw. Gosh i miss them.

ah yes, lil ol me.





my darling...





My other darling...., yes i had to hold him to get this shot cos he's scared of my phone!! eheh.

Sorry chuen, i just had to put this one up =D prom sj' 07, memories to last a lifetime....




now EXTENDED apologies to everyone (sashvin & chuen esp. :D) who has been waiting on me for pics!!! My aunt took the cam for one of her functions and i havent gotten it bak. Bear wimme peops....ill send it soon, a.s.ap...promise, cross my heart and hope to die...lol...

well then, im tired, i wanna go read, sleep, wake up again in the morning. yep. How usual.
yalah i know im brilliant. =D

ahh a new beggining.

This is the second time i wrote that heading. I was halfway through my first post just now, and yes, the darn comp HAD to shut down on me. lol.

well i should have set up this blog a longgggggggggg time ago....but heck, being the procrastinator i am, it was meant to be delayed. so sue me =p

yeah, thanks chuen, this post is long overdue. :)

Anyways, what this i hear bout britney's lil sister getting preggers at 16??? WO-WIE. honestly i aint shocked and would like to feel sorry for her but, i thought she had MORE SENSE than that. gee, brit u see what happens when u wanna be a role model? in any case i dont think this family knows two hoots bout contraception. Ever noticed how brit got pregnant right after she got married. And then, even before her first born can walk, out comes adorable little Jayden. I suppose divorce was the only way out of it eh?

ANYYwho, yay!!!

haha, i finally found out who my fosters are!! OK, unless you've been living in a cave and if you know me, im sure YOU ALL know im going on an exchange prgrm to the US in jan. lol, ive been screaming from the rooftops about it to anyone who'll listen :) yep, six months there, back into high school, and ill be bak in julyyy. Hopefully ill be starting my A-levels at Taylors when i get bak. Unless another window opens, which im hoping will happen at the same time. grr. life. how very suck-ish it can get at timessss.

ok la enough of my blabbering, onto my fosters :)

They emailed me yesterday, what a pleasant surprise :D

im going to pennslyvania, and ive got two host siblings, a boy and a girl. They sent me pictures too. My, the snow looks pret-ty amazing i must say. i would post their pictures up here but i dont know if they would like it so i wont.

im a lil curious bout high school. Ill be going to the same one my foster sister attends so at least ill know someone there. Thing is, i always wondered if the schools there are anything like what we see on tv. U know, the bitching, the popular kids, the nerds etc. Ill keep u guys updated on that. heh. omg, im sooooo excited!!! havent started my shoppping yet, better get my arse moving yo! lol.

i am trying, i repeat, TRYing to clean out my room. there is just SO MUCH JUNK IN THERE!!! lol i mean, i knew i had STUFF. i just didnt realise how much i had!! gotto get rid of em pronto...gosh, im even keeping mags from last year!! gee, im am lazy =D. and i cant get sued for it =D bummer eh? bleh.

im dyyying to see i am legend and the Golden compass. How pathetic is this eh? i havent been to the movies since SPM. arrgggggggggggggggggghhhh fark in a half yo...lol....but u know whats brilliant?? i cant get sued for that either :D haha ignore them craps i occasionally type. its just me, and i love me. Im sure u do too. bahah.

my foster mom added me on facebook today. Lol i do prefer facebook to friendster. But i dont understand those stupid applications!!!! arggghh ive got like 300 yet to be approved!! wth, this aint no kids site, like all those vampire hugging and what not. this is what i call pure annoying. th world is really beginning to annoy me at any rate. But i shant comment on that. I wont stop, and im sure u want me to :D

things carrie needs to get done, PRONTO:-

-learn how to cook!
-catch a movie
-START SHOPPINNGG
-re-schedule her sleep routine (its way out of hand...lol)
-start prepping for the SAT's
-buy christmas gifts
-LOSE THEM FATS!!! (argh again...nyeh)

heh, okay forgive me if this first post is as boring as ever. lol. itll get better. I promise :)

O!! and ill post some prom pics sooooon. i need to get my cam bak frm my aunt, and will do it prontooo....o, speaking of that, i shall briefly sum up prom for you blobs :D

food: shitty
entertainment: VERY weird, but sigma effect and bittersweet were not at all bad :D
dancing: HELL YEAH
overall: damn good, had a great time with my peops, loved it to bits =)

alrighty i best stop here.

ill post some pics up sooon. Lurve those who love me. Those who dont can go bury their heads into a pile of dung for all i care. Now aint that just too damn convinient?

Feeling blooshed. ( i have no idea what that means. eheh.)

im out. xx


 

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